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Leanna says her then-husband would often engage in suspicious behavior—he was often not home, and when he was, he would lock himself in a room with his computer and forbid her to come in.

Dr. Ablow says Leanna was in denial about his behavior. "If I were to lock myself into my office at home, not permitting my wife entry, I wouldn't be at home very long," he says. "For Leanna, therefore, something in her life experience led her to be able to tolerate a myth. Your husband says 'I'm in there doing computer games. But you can't come in.' … That doesn't compute."

Dr. Ablow asks Leanna what else in her life "didn't compute?"

"What untruth might you have lived with as a younger person that allows you to choose this fiction in place of reality?" he questions. "And by the way, when your husband met you, he knew you were that person, right? … You know, he knew who you were from the very beginning. He knew when he closed his door and locked it and said 'I'm playing chess,' that you were the kind of person, through no fault of your own but because you've had your own life story, who would say, 'Okay, I believe it. I'm concerned, but I believe you.'"

Leanna says she acted that way because she was given no choice. "I was afraid of him. I was afraid and I knew that I could only go so far."
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FROM: When the One You Love Is a Pedophile
Published on August 02, 2005

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