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Brooke said she thought angels would sing the day she gave birth, but her high expectations were crushed. "Everybody says it's the most amazing moment in your life," Brooke says. "I don't know how many people are really telling the truth because I think it becomes amazing—you have to grow into it. It was so dramatic and it was not glorious."
Returning home from the hospital, Brooke's feelings began to darken and she found herself completely unable to bond with her baby. She found herself crying hysterically and overwhelmed with feelings of rage and self-hatred. "I had no desire," Brooke remembers, "to even pretend to care about her. And it absolutely terrified me."