Mary's situation took place about 15 years ago, but she still wonders what she should have done. "[There were] two different situations where spouses—significant others—of friends of mine propositioned me and I turned them down, but I never told my friends," she says.
Should Mary have told her friends? Randy says no. "When it's a one-time misstep, I would let it go. If there's wine, if there's candlelight, if there's moonlight, we all make mistakes. We're all human," he says. "But if it's a persistent behavior, if someone would do this again, then I think you have to tell. ... I use the sort of guideline 'Once is never; twice is always.'"
Faith says she's shocked at Randy's answer. "I would assume that if those men acted that way toward you," Faith says to Mary, "that's probably not the only time they've acted inappropriately and breached that commitment with their wives."