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Patti's problem is one that women can relate to. "I've had many girlfriends who have dated the bad boy of the town," she says. "And it comes to the day where they say, 'What do you think of him?' And you say everything that you know they already knew. And I found I've lost many friends because of it. ... I find our friendship fails, they keep the bad boy boyfriend, but I don't see them anymore."

Randy says telling the truth is not always the best policy. "Sometimes when people ask our opinions, they don't want our opinions. What they're really asking for is our praise and our approval," he says. "The right answer is, 'I'm so pleased you're happy.' There's nothing more you can do."

Faith says answering this question is all about framing your answer. "I had a very dear friend who was marrying someone that I didn't think she should marry. And weeks before the wedding, my bridesmaid's dress was bought and I talked to my other friends and we said we need to say something to her," she says. "I said: 'Look, I love you and I want you to be happy. I don't see his behavior making you happy. I hope I'm dead wrong. If you marry him, I will support you. If you divorce him, I will support you. I just couldn't stand for you at your wedding without telling you that I have these doubts about the way he treats you.' ... I felt honest; she felt supported."
FROM: How to Handle Life's Stickiest Situations
Published on June 02, 2009


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