Pamela Smart and Lisa Ling
PAGE 6
That was 20 years ago. Pamela is now 43 years old and will have soon spent more time in prison than in the free world.

Pamela says she misses her husband and often thinks about what their lives would be like had she never gotten involved with Flynn. Unlike Pamela, Flynn will likely be a free man within a few years, a fact that Pamela says makes her feel "angry and disgusted."

Lisa asks Pamela what she would say to her former teenage lover if he were watching. "Tell the truth," Pamela says. "But I know he doesn't care. He's going home. He killed somebody and got away with it in one way or another. He's still going to have a life."

Without the possibility of parole, Pamela will spend the remainder of her days behind bars—a sentence she believes is worse than the death penalty. "When I came to prison, I was 20 years old," she says. "I could live to 100. I fear being old and dying and getting sick in here. So, to me, death would be an easy way out."

Even though she didn't fire the gun that killed her husband, Pamela says she accepts responsibility for what happened to Gregg.

"At the beginning of my whole experience, it was easy for me to blame everybody else," she says. "It took me years to realize and accept my own responsibility in the whole situation."

But, to this day, Pamela maintains her innocence and says she never plotted her husband's murder. "I never wanted him dead," she says. "I never asked anybody to kill him. I didn't suggest it, didn't plant the idea in anybody's head. And I've spent 20 years in prison already for something I didn't even do."
FROM: When Your Own Mother Is a Notorious Killer
Published on October 22, 2010

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