Remembering Your Spirit
Newlywed Kim admits her marriage was headed for trouble until Dr. Phil inspired a life-changing perspective. Now Kim and her husband have a deeper respect for each other, and a better understanding of the true spirit of marriage.
"My husband Neil and I married about seven months ago. Coming into the marriage we were about as opposite as you could probably imagine. He's very much a cable guy, where I want to go dancing. We're also very different in our professional lives. I work in a corporate environment, and he's a trucker."
What Marriage Should Be
"Neil and I both came in with our preconceived notions. As a wife, I was supposed to be a much more submissive creature than I would normally be. Neil had the idea that, as a wife, I should be put up on a pedestal. We were working against each other, both believing that we were doing the best thing to be the perfect wife or perfect husband. The long-term effect of playing a role was ultimately a breakdown in our communication."
"We saw Dr. Phil's show on marriage myths, and one in particular stuck out for me: that marriage does not have to be a great meeting of the minds. What that meant was that I didn't have to play a role that was somehow part of a fantasy. I could be all the things that I was when we were falling in love, actually in our marriage, and that was OK."
Enjoying Time Together
"We still have lots of issues to work out, but we don't spend a lot of time trying to belittle the other person's position. We don't spend nearly as much time complaining or fighting about what's next for us. When we said, "I do," it was forever The fact that we can enjoy that time, and celebrate that time, and continue to grow and explore in that time, it's just awesome."