Never Before Seen
Just moments before introducing Desperate Housewives star Teri Hatcher, Oprah narrowly avoided an embarrassing wardrobe malfunction. Kelly, Oprah's stylist, dashed on stage as the show began and pointed out something white that was poking out from under Oprah's leather top. "You know what this is...this is my tissue!" Oprah says. "No, I was not stuffing my breasts. Believe me—I have enough."
Oprah says she put tissues under her armpits to protect her top from deodorant marks. "Somebody said, '[This is] a model trick,'" she says. "They didn't say you would be seeing it through your clothes!"
After one show, Oprah explained one of her favorite pastimes. When she's driving around, Oprah says she sometimes pulls up next to models of cars she's owned in her life to compliment the owners on their good taste. Usually she just gets excited smiles and waves...but not every time!
"I pulled up alongside a guy on Chicago Avenue who was driving a red Chevy Chevette with the yellow stripe along the side, exactly like a car I used to drive with no FM radio. I pulled up along the side of the guy—I'm driving a Mercedes convertible, top down—and I say to him, 'Oh, my God. Isn't that a great car?'" Oprah says. "And he goes, '[Bleep] you!' And then he pulls off. And I'm like, 'No, really! I think it is a great car. I had that car once when I was 22!'"
Libby and Juris say they're hiding a dirty doggie secret that makes them sick. Their pup, Ox, likes to eat poop. Juris says that they've tried everything to break Ox of her filthy habit but nothing seems to work. "I've tried squirting her with a water pistol to make her stop...even a doggie psychologist," he says. "She just can't stop eating poop."
Cesar says Ox's issue may be caused by boredom. "The nose needs to be challenged," he says. "Sometimes the dog is bored and that's when they eat poop."
A simple solution for Ox's owners is to hide clothes, shoes or toys in the yard. Then, Ox will have something other than feces to sniff out. "Give her something to find," Cesar says. "It is the nature of a dog to find things with their nose, so what is more often available in the grass is poop."
When Siobhan first bought Christian Dior almost two years ago, she says she began potty training him immediately. After he eats, Siobhan puts her pup on a mat to use the bathroom. Cesar says this house-training method may be the problem.
"You're not following the natural process of how they use the bathroom," Cesar says. "They walk, they find food, and they walk again. Then they have a bowel movement. That's the path."
Cesar says pet owners who have house-training troubles need to walk their dogs for a longer period of time or walk faster, which will accelerate the bowel movement.
Kiku even climbs on George's head when he and Kim are "trying to have a moment." How can they curb Kiku's jealous behavior?
Cesar says that as far as Kiku is concerned, George is her male and Kim is her rival. "[Kiku] doesn't know [Kim] is your wife," Cesar says. "She just knows there's another female in competition."
To assert her dominance, Kiku climbs on George's head. Cesar says it's time for George to be the dominant one in the family. "[George] has to let [Kiku] know that she belongs to him," he suggests.
Strapless bras aren't the only undergarments that have caused Oprah problems at glamorous events. Oprah says she once made the mistake of wearing pantyhose that were too tight to an Oscar® party and almost couldn't make it down the red carpet. "When [pantyhose are] too tight, they roll down," she says. "You're sitting talking to some famous person, and you can feel them rolling. Then when you move, they roll some more. Honest to goodness, I remember getting up and they were down [to my knees]!"
Colleen, Peter's girlfriend, came on stage and Oprah read from a letter that Peter had given her...just in case he was at a loss for words. "If Oprah is reading this it's because I totally passed out or am crying uncontrollably," she reads. "I chose this venue so that both our parents can actually witness this incredible moment. I love you, Colleen, and with you in my life I feel invincible."
"Colleen, will you be my wife?" he asks.
"Yes!" she says.
The happy couple was married on June 10, 2006, in Iowa.
"I think va-jay-jay is a nice word, don't you?" Oprah asks. "Everybody who watches Grey's Anatomy knows that's where we got that from."
One audience member announces that she and her sisters call their private parts "nunu." "My nunu's name is 'Lavender,'" she says. "I thought I'd share that with 30 million people."
Leave it to children to come up with another hilarious nickname! "My daughter, who was 2 years old at the time, told her dad she couldn't go to the bathroom because she didn't have a peanut like him...but she had a piñata," says another audience member.
After the show ended, Vince got a bit more personal, taking questions from the audience. When one man asked Vince if he'd ever gone through a "geeky" phase, Vince confessed he did! "I've always felt geeky, in a way," Vince says. "I've never felt like I was super cool or anything like that."
During his visit, Vince also revealed one of his all-time favorite places. "Chicago has always been my favorite city," Vince says. "I think growing up outside of it I'm probably prejudiced that way. But I think really what makes the city the best [is that] the people are friendly."
And he isn't the only one who loves it here. Jennifer loves Chicago, too, Vince says.
One of those people was Layla, an audience member who found out the hard way that she had a kidney stone. Traveling to the show, she started feeling excruciating pain. Fortunately, she met a doctor on the plane who was also on her way to The Oprah Show. "She held my hair and rubbed my back as I vomited all the way here," Layla says. "Then when I got [to Chicago], she said, 'I'll see you on The Oprah Show.' I said, 'Am I going to make it?'"
After a trip to the emergency room and a prescription for painkillers, Layla was in line at Harpo Studios, ready to be an audience member.
"It never ceases to amaze me the lengths people will go to get here," Oprah says.
What you didn't see the first time was Madea's advice to an audience member who wondered how to tell if her husband was cheating on her.
"It's real simple. If you think your man is cheating, nine times out of 10 he probably is," Madea said. "See, people don't pay attention to their intuition. I believe if you follow your intuition, it would tell you the truth. But there's some really simple steps to catch a man cheating—if your man comes in the house and he ain't got no socks on, something's going on. Or, if he's been working all day and comes in smelling like Irish Spring, something is going on. Those are some telltale signs that you're in trouble."
"And you're walking! Fantastic," Oprah says. "I could still be doing this show at 102."
During a break in the Oprah After the Show, the audience clamored for an encore song from Greatest Hits: The Road Less Traveled, Melissa's career retrospective. Melissa didn't disappoint, playing her Grammy-winning hit "Come to My Window."
After that, Oprah swore off the "flat head" forever and started sporting a new 'do. "People say to me, 'Why are you wearing a ponytail now? You're 50 years old.' Well, it's taken me 50 years to grow it, so I'm going to wear it as long as I can, okay?"
"It is a colored girl's dream to have a ponytail," Oprah says. "When you're a Negro child ... and you see your little blonde friends and they've got their little ponytails and you've got 17 braids going in 17 different directions, you just long for a ponytail."
"That honors me, but you should never want to be like anybody else," Oprah says. "You should let my life serve as an example of the possibility for your own. You are going to be a better you than you can ever be trying to be me. ... I tell people that you have to live inside God's dream for you. There is a calling for your life."
Ariana also tells Oprah that she'd like to name her child Oprah. "No, don't," she says. "It's a hard name growing up. When I first started to work, people wanted me to change it. I'm glad I had sense enough not to do that. They wanted me to be Suzie, because Suzie's 'friendly.'"
Oprah says that her name comes from the Bible's Book of Ruth. In the Bible, Ruth's sister is named "Orpah," but when Oprah was born, her name was misspelled on the birth certificate. "It's a mistake, but it's worked out for me," she says.