Mary Winkler's First Interview

Despite the mental, physical and sexual abuse Mary Winkler says she suffered in her marriage, she says that killing Matthew did not once cross her mind. "No, I felt so dependent on him, I couldn't imagine life without him," she says. To this day, Mary Winkler says she maintains her love for Matthew. "I just—I do love him," she says. "I think of the good times, the dreams. I just—that's my girls' daddy. I just, I love Matthew. It was very bad but it could be very good."

Six days after Matthew's death, hundreds of mourners gathered at the Selmer church where Matthew had been the pastor. With police approval, the Winklers allowed their daughter-in-law to spend a private moment with Matthew's body.

Mary Winkler was sentenced to serve a controversial 210 days in jail. "There's no amount of time I think you can put on something like this," she says. "I just was ready for them to lock the door and throw away the key."