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According to Dr. Robin, now is not the time for Holly to be thinking about leaving her husband. "It's not about leaving," Dr. Robin tells Holly. "It's about learning the lesson, asking yourself, 'What is this lesson in my life? What am I missing?'—not, 'Do I stay or leave?' You can't even answer that question yet. Whether this marriage is salvagable—who knows? Because you haven't shown up yet."

What is Holly's first step to finding true happiness? Dr. Robin says Holly needs to be her true self. "What I will tell you is that the life that you can have possibly with your husband—you can't have it as an imposter," Dr. Robin says. "So if there is hope, you've got to show up. You've got to figure out who you are. You have to be able to know that you are worthy and get your needs met and figure out what your needs are and who you really are because we can't create intimacy—not just sexual, but emotional connection—if we are not being real."
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FROM: Women Who Are Living a Lieā€”Could It Be You?
Published on April 18, 2006

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