Dr. Robin says we need to start asking the right questions before the wedding and rethink our value systems. "We don't ask people questions like, 'Does he make your heart happy? Do you feel safe with him?'" says Dr. Robin. "Part of the challenge is, when you say that life is good, it depends on what your value system is." The emphasis in Holly's case, Dr. Robin says, should be on peace of mind, feeling joyful and being her true self in the marriage—not the size of her house or her husband's success.