Jerry Seinfeld
PAGE 8
Jerry says this one is a no-brainer. "He's in a porch with a roof on it. There's no stars," he says. "You hear the creek for four seconds. You're asleep—you can't hear a creek when you're asleep. He's out of his mind. He needs to go to camp in the summer with the other kids. I mean, this is ridiculous." This is a time for compromise, Jerry says. "Maybe some of the time sleep in the bed? If you miss a night out there, is it that bad?"

Will says sleeping outside is actually a favor to Emily. "When I get up in the middle of the night, the bed creeks, [and] she gets upset if I miss the toilet or don't put the toilet lid down, so now I can sleep outside and pee in the bucket and don't have to worry about putting the lid down."

This time, Tom is on Jerry's side. "Kings and queens used to sleep in separate quarters, and then they would meet in the common room. But the fact is, when you pee in a bucket, you're not king," he says. "Think about your son, what you're doing to his little mind. ... You've got to get back in the bed."
FROM: Jerry Seinfeld: "The Marriage Ref"
Published on March 01, 2010

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