In March 1999, Iyanla spoke about her book Yesterday, I Cried, and answered audience members' questions. One woman posed this question to Iyanla: "If all you're getting are liars and cheaters and all this kind of stuff, what are you supposed to expect? What do you expect?"
Iyanla's responded, "What you draw to you is what you are." What Iyanla meant was that all the makeup, eyeliner and clothes the audience member wore was just a facade. Iyanla asked the woman to call herself a liar and see how it felt. "Not particularly [good]," the woman responded.
"Why would you project that onto someone else?" Iyanla asked. "Because that's your judgment. Your perception of reality and his perception of reality may be completely different."