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Once you and your child are safe and the abuser no longer has access to your child, you can both begin the process of healing.

To support your child in her healing process, you need to take care of yourself. Good self-care is not selfish. It is essential to take care of yourself so that you can support your child.
Manage Your Emotions
  • You may consider talking to a counselor. 
  • After many incest situations, the family may be in counseling. You might also consider individual counseling. The advantage of individual counseling is that the focus can be entirely on you and it will give you the opportunity to work through your feelings and concerns about the situation without needing to worry about how your child will hear those concerns. 
  • Local rape crisis centers often provide counseling or can connect you with a provider. Call 800-656-HOPE or go to Centers.rainn.org to find a center near you.  
Develop Your Support System
  • Reach out to friends and family who are supportive and who you feel comfortable talking to about your family situation.
  • Consider joining a support group for nonabusing parents of incest victims.  
Keep a Journal
  • It may be helpful to write down some of the feelings that you are experiencing. 
Practice Mediation or Relaxation Exercises
  • Relaxation techniques or meditation may help maintain your emotional balance.
Set Limits
  • Make sure that you spend time doing activities that have nothing to do with the incest situation.
  • Set aside time as needed to cope with the incest situation, whether that means dealing with the legal situation, counseling appointments, visitation or other tasks. When that time is up, move on to other activities.
  • Make sure that you are involved in some activities that don't revolve around the incest situation.
How to help support the victim
FROM: Shattering the Secrecy of Incest: Mackenzie Phillips' Follow-Up
Published on October 13, 2009

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