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Jennifer says she's ready to marry her boyfriend of four years, but he says he's not ready for that level of commitment, because there are things he wants to do before he walks down the aisle. "He wants to buy a house, he wants to do good at work—he's even talked about climbing Mount Everest!" says Jennifer. "During the week, we're both busy working and during the weekends our time is just limited. When we are together I just feel like I'm on the clock. I sometimes don't feel like a priority, because I want to spend more time and he says he's just too busy. I ask him, 'Are we going to get married? When are you going to know? When are you going to be ready?' And he just doesn't give me answers. He says I ask too many questions. So, Greg, what should I do? Do you think he's going to come around after four years of dating me? Or am I just wasting my time? Am I the one not being patient?"

According to Greg, "too busy to commit" means: "'I'm not committing now.' It means 'I'm not ready.' It just means, 'I'm not into you.' Here's the thing: He has big plans, clearly, he wants to climb Mount Everest—the big plans just aren't with you. They're all about a mountain. You want to get married. That's what you want to do. He should be psyched about that. There's nothing wrong with him not wanting to be married, but you have to be cool with that. But if [marriage is] what you want, then you have to cut the chase. He'll come find you. You need to be priority one. You've got to be priority one."
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FROM: He's Just Not That Into You
Published on September 22, 2004

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