Free from Life on the Down Low
After dating through high school, Brenda and J.L. got married and had two children, Ebony and Brandon. But, after five years of marriage, Brenda says she was no longer feeling the love. "I thought there was something going on," she says. "Perhaps another woman that was in his life."
One day, J.L. was supposed to be watching their children, but Brenda discovered that he'd hired a babysitter. To see if her suspicions were justified, Brenda went out looking for his car and found it parked at a club in their small town.
When J.L. came home, Brenda confronted him. Thinking his secret was out, J.L. told Brenda there was someone he wanted her to meet, and he took her to the home of one of his lovers. "When I saw this man, I knew that J.L. was having a relationship with this guy, that this guy was homosexual," she says. "I was hurt. I was scared, and I was screaming and hollering. ... I told him: 'I want a divorce. You're gay. I hate you. You lied to me. Get out. Leave me alone.'"
Watch Brenda tell her side of the story
Eventually, Brenda discovered that J.L. had been having affairs with men for years, but she says she never suspected anything. Despite this shocking discovery, Brenda says there was a moment when she considered staying with J.L. "Then I thought, 'No, you're denying yourself, and you're denying your children a home life,'" she says. "It would not work. I couldn't share."