When J.L. told Oprah he wasn't gay back in 2004, he says he wasn't lying—he was in denial. "I knew I was living a lie," he says. "I would do all I could to change who I was. I had this double life: I had girlfriends on the side. I had women, and I would always deny who I was."
J.L. also admits that he had unprotected sex with men while he was still married to his high school sweetheart, Brenda. After hearing the story of a woman who contracted HIV from a man living on the down low, he says he's angry with himself and all men who live this double life. "It's just by the grace of God that I did not get infected or hurt anybody else," J.L. says.