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Oprah, Dr. Robin Smith, Kathy and Jessica

To truly honor Dan, Dr. Robin says, Kathy could surround herself with life and make her own life the memorial. She could also surround herself with people who allow her to talk about her sadness—not her anger, Dr. Robin suggests.

"You [can] start even doing things in the house that allow it to live—that allow joy to come in there," Dr. Robin says. "That allows for feelings and friendships and gatherings to move on without Dan being there."

Oprah says she thinks September 11 was a wake-up call for America, and the sacrifices of the people who died that day should teach us about our own lives.

"You owe [Dan] a resurrection," Oprah says. "You owe him to rise up out of your depression—to come out of this veil of darkness and live. And live. And live."

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