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Currently, Kathy is fighting to have a memorial built on Ground Zero for all the September 11 victims, and she's not happy about New York's plans for the hallowed ground. But, Dr. Robin says, another way Kathy can honor her husband is to remember the last words he spoke to her—that he loved her and to take care of the kids.

"What would he want for your soul?" Dr. Robin asks. "Would he want you to be joyous? Would he want you to smile more? Would he want you to be more engaged in the parenting of your children? That's how you can keep him alive. If you want a memorial for him, you change your life. You parent your children. That's how he'll live forever and ever and ever."

In spite of everything that she's lost, Jessica reminds her mother that she still has her children. "We love you, and we want you to be happy," Jessica tells Kathy. "We want to be happy, too. We want to move on."

Jessica says all she wants is for Kathy to be the mom she was once—the mom who was "happy-go-lucky" and enjoyed life. "I want you back," Jessica says. "I know we're never going to get dad back, but think about [what] you said, 'We were so happy before that.' We can find happiness again."
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FROM: 9/11 Widow Stuck in Her Grief
Published on October 24, 2005

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