Throwing away the alcohol that had been Sarah's crutch for 13 years was tough, but saying "goodbye" to her children was what Sarah dreaded the most. After the difficult goodbyes, Sarah was off to rehab. She had been drinking about 12 alcoholic beverages a day, so the first phase of treatment was going to be rough—but the entire program was so vital to saving her life.
"The disease is such a lie," Sarah says. "It convinces you that you're fooling everybody, and it lies to you and tells you that you are. It's such a baffling disease that rips who you are right out of you. I didn't know it was a disease, and I didn't know how to separate that from 'Sarah.' I thought that I was just the scum of the earth. I was the loser. Now I know the disease is what's so awful, ugly and terrible. Once I could separate that and could start to heal, the wonderful Sarah and the recovering me could come out."