Excerpt from Real Sex for Real Women
We are always seeking perfection, whether it is in our looks, our careers, or our families. We want to rest and relax—but only after everything else in our lives is perfect. Have you ever thought to yourself: I will spend more time on my marriage when the kids are in college. I will devote myself to my own needs once my finances are more settled. I will get into shape when the children go to school—the list is endless. What are you waiting for? What personal fulfillment are you delaying for perfection? Now is the absolute best time to seek your own happiness.
What does this mean? It means stop living for the future and live for today. It means you don't need to be thinner and more toned to have a fantastic sex life with your partner. And don't delay your happiness until some non existent utopia finds you. Focus on the present, and enhance your time and life now rather than always working toward tomorrow.
Rediscover your single self
This doesn't mean you should leave your partner. It means you should find time to reconnect with the woman you used to be—the one your partner fell in love with. Make time for old interests, forgotten girlfriends, and grooming rituals. Take long walks through the woods or along the shore. Have a spa or beauty treatment. Look at photographs of yourself and your partner and reminisce about when you first met. Lie down and daydream about having sex just the way you want it. Activities such as these recharge your independence and reconnect you to your femininity—things we often lose track of in the stress of day-to-day life.
Share the load
Talk to your partner about sharing a few of the household chores—maybe he won't do them as you would, but the laundry gets done and the beds made. Delegate a few home responsibilities to your kids, if you have them. Most children like being given responsibility. Simple chores like setting the table, dusting, and pairing socks, are easy ways to get the whole family involved in the business of running the house.