Let's acknowledge that we live in an extremely status-oriented society, with emphasis placed on marrying a person with the "right" professional identity. How often have you heard people brag (or maybe you've bragged yourself) about a partner, saying, "He's a doctor" or "She's a model," as if status alone were enough to guarantee a good relationship. Unfortunately, you don't hear people bragging, "He's a kindergarten teacher" or "She's an administrative assistant at a not-for-profit organization in the Bronx." This is part of the problem. When we focus on status, we destroy any chance to live an authentic life with a partner who shares our values. These are the questions you really want answered:

Work Questions

1. Are you working in your chosen profession?
2. How many hours a week do you work?
3. What is your dream job?
4. What is your retirement plan? What do you plan to do when you stop working?
5. What does your job entail? (For example: Do you often travel for business, work at home or perform dangerous tasks?)

Excerpted from Lies at the Altar by Dr. Robin L. Smith. Copyright © 2006 Dr. Robin L. Smith. All rights reserved. Published by Hyperion. Available wherever books are sold.