Dr. Robin Smith and Oprah

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Both stay-at-home moms and working moms deal with the judgment of others and feelings of guilt. Dr. Robin says that before you let guilt bring you down, take a step back and see how your family feels.

"Guilt and having remorse, regret, is really in our lives to teach us not to torture us," she says. "You want to learn, 'What did I need to do that I didn't do? How did I neglect my needs or neglect my child?' ... You can experience deprivation as a mother and thinking, 'Oh, my gosh, I'm ruining my child.' When your child, if you are attuned and connected to them, feels full and empowered."

Oprah agrees that women shouldn't feel guilty for making decisions that are right for their family—and that society's idea of being the perfect parent and "having it all" aren't realistic. "That's a part of our indoctrination of our culture that we're suppose to make the bacon, bring it home, fry it in the pan, get the kids ready and then strip for your man at the end of the day," Oprah says. "I say you can have it all. You just can't have it all at the same time."
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FROM: My Baby or My Job: Why Elizabeth Vargas Stepped Down
Published on January 23, 2007

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