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To begin Dr. Hendrix's behavior change technique, Louie and Shannon describe their dissatisfactions with each other. Louie's biggest gripe with Shannon is the fact that she expects him to read her mind, he says. "When you want something, you don't ask for it, and then you get angry [when I don't do it]," he says.

Dr. Hendrix asks Louie to come up with three things that Shannon could do for him that would reduce his frustration. She will choose one of the three and commit to changing her behavior for three weeks.

Louie's first request is for Shannon to create a daily list of household chores for him. His second request is a permanent list of things that need to be done on a regular basis. Louie's third request is for Shannon to tell him every afternoon the specific tasks that need to be done that day. Shannon says she's willing to make a daily list of things that need to be done around the house.

Shannon's main dissatisfaction with Louie is that she feels lonely and wants more time with her husband. "He pretty much spends all of his time when he's at home in our bedroom," she says.

Shannon's first behavior change request is for Louie to engage the family for at least one hour every day. Her second request is for him to limit the time he spends by himself. Shannon's third request is that Louie eats dinner with the family instead of alone in his room. Louie chooses to spend at least an hour with Shannon and their children every day for three weeks.
FROM: An Abusive Husband's Desperate Plea for Help
Published on April 19, 2006


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