To start the work of getting intimate again, Dr. Berman assigned Dan and Shayna homework: to spend 15 minutes kissing. "It was a big failure," Shayna says. "I was supposed to initiate the kiss when I was ready. He was holding me and right away I started to feel pressure because I felt out of control. I had this flood of emotion. I started to think about all of the things riding on this moment."
Shayna says feeling out of control sparks her to take the reigns where she can. "The way I soothe myself is I try to find things that I can control, so the only thing I can control is being a good mom, because that's the story in my mind of who I am. That's where I feel safe. ... I thought about my kids, and then I felt disgusted and I couldn't even lift my face up to his."