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Even though Fred betrayed her and their marriage, even moving in with his mistress for a while, Linda feels that it isn't personal. While she says she feels she contributed to the problem by being disengaged in their relationship after their son's birth, she says their life is actually pretty good. The only problem with their marriage, Linda says, is his infidelity. "This is a problem with him and his need for this adrenaline rush, his need for excitement… I consider this immaturity."
Dr. Gail Saltz, author of Becoming Real, says, "Linda, I don't think you like yourself very much. The reason I say that is you're saying the problem is about him. It is his problem, but he's doing it to you. It's really a form of abuse. Betrayal, rejection, repeated abandonment. … He moves out, abandoning you, abandoning your child…that is emotional abuse. If it was this problem that he hit you, it might come from something inside of him, but it would still be your problem. I don't see this as a workable situation."
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