Jay Leno, Brian McKnight and Rick Reilly

1.
Calling all women! Three guys have agreed to break a historic code of silence and help us unravel the mysteries of the male mind. Who are these few good men who have promised to tackle your burning questions with total honesty?

Sports Illustrated columnist Rick Reilly has been named National Sports Writer of the Year 10 times. He's a single father of three, and he knows more than a thing or two about the games men play.

Grammy award nominee Brian McKnight's expert resume includes being single, being married, being divorced, and—by his own frank admission—being promiscuous.

Jay Leno, host of NBC's Tonight Show , has been married to the same woman for 25 years—and still manages to put millions of other women to bed with smiles on their faces.

These fearless truth tellers are ready to lay it on the line for women around the world!

Why do men go to strip clubs?
Why do men watch porn?
What's up with catcalls and wolf-whistles?
Why are men so obsessed with golf?
Why do some men cheat?
What do men think about after sex?
Why do men get lazy after they say "I do"?
Amberlee and her former boyfriend Justin

2.
Fourteen percent of men go to strip clubs regularly. *

Of guys who go to strip clubs, 80 percent say they buy at least one lap dance. **

Is it cheating if a man goes to a strip club? Amberlee of College Station, Texas, thinks so. She and her former boyfriend Justin broke up over the issue. "Before we started dating," she says, "I let him know I didn't like his habit of going to strip clubs, and it was the one and only way he would ever lose me. A year after moving in together, I found a receipt in his pocket for a strip club. When I asked him about it, he didn't have much to say. I was out of the house three days later. I felt betrayed and cheated on. … If I'm going to do it for free and there are no rules, why does he need to go somewhere else?"

"If he was 45 years old and still going to strip clubs," Jay says, "that would be a problem. He's a young guy—he goes to a strip club once in a while, looks at some girls, comes home to her."

Brian respectfully disagrees. "She told him what would happen if he went," he says, "so that's his problem. If he wanted to keep her, he probably should not have gone."

Rick sums it up: "When you're losing your girl to strip clubs, I'd stop going to strip clubs. Especially that girl."

* When It Comes to Guys, What's Normal?
** Men's Health magazine

Why do men watch porn?
What's up with catcalls and wolf-whistles?
Why are men so obsessed with golf?
Why do some men cheat?
What do men think about after sex?
Why do men get lazy after they say "I do"?
Jay Leno

3.
Why do men watch porn?

Seventy percent of men age 18–34 view Internet porn once a month. * "Once an hour" is more like it, Brian jokes.

Jay: There are two sexes out there. There are tons of female sites that are quite similar. I think women do it, too—I just don't think they admit it. I don't think [women] should feel betrayed. … Men tend to need visual stimulants.

Oprah: Jay, how would [your wife] Mavis feel if you were looking at porn every day?

Jay: I think she would be fine. I mean, I, you know…not to…well, I guess if I was looking at it every day…I mean, if I was suddenly, like, you know, I mean…um…I don't…I don't know that it would be a huge problem—

Rick: It sounds like it would be, Jay.

*Chicago Tribune

Why do men go to strip clubs?
What's up with catcalls and wolf-whistles?
Why are men so obsessed with golf?
Why do some men cheat?
What do men think about after sex?
Why do men get lazy after they say "I do"?
Jay Leno

4.
What's up with catcalls, wolf-whistles and other expressions of "appreciation?"

It's simply a way of acknowledging a woman's beauty, our experts insist. "Women spend a lot of time making themselves look great. How can you not comment on that?" Jay says. "Guys do the same thing with cars. 'Oh my God, look at that Corvette!' My little Chevette at home doesn't feel insulted that I'm talking about the Corvette."

Still, don't wives have a right to feel bad when their husbands talk with their buddies about other women?

"This one's a wash," Jay says, "because women do this all the time. At my show, half of my staff is women. Whenever Brad Pitt or somebody's on the show, oh my God. … It really is the same thing." Touché!

Why do men go to strip clubs?
Why do men watch porn?
Why are men so obsessed with golf?
Why do some men cheat?
What do men think about after sex?
Why do men get lazy after they say "I do"?
Rick Reilly

5.
Why are men so obsessed with golf?

Lisa is a golf widow—her husband Jim plays golf four days a week. "When Jimmy's not playing golf," she says, "he's either watching golf on television or looking on the computer [for golf gear]."

"She tends to blow her stack that I don't spend enough time with her and the kids," Jim grumbles. "Lisa said golf would never get her anywhere. But it got her on The Oprah Show !"

"Men love to keep score," Rick explains to golf widows everywhere. "Golf, we understand '71 to 68.' What we don't understand are relationships and talking things out. I don't think I've ever been to a football game where the game ended, and the two coaches came out to midfield and said, 'Okay, you beat us, but in that third quarter some of the things you did made me feel insecure about myself, and I feel like you were projecting some of your fears on me so actually we beat you so….' It doesn't happen. We like black and white scores."

"My wife is a car widow," Jay says. "When you come home with transmission fluid on your collar, that's not so bad. Personally I think it's great to have a hobby. … There are certainly bigger problems in the world than [a husband who plays golf]. At least he's not at the strip club!"

Why do men go to strip clubs?
Why do men watch porn?
What's up with catcalls and wolf-whistles?
Why do some men cheat?
What do men think about after sex?
Why do men get lazy after they say "I do"?
Bruce Cameron

6.
Why do some men cheat?

Twenty-one percent of men admit cheating. *

"Men cheat for the same reason that women cheat," says Bruce Cameron, author of How to Remodel a Man , "which is that there's something missing in the relationship, and they go outside instead of inside to fix it. That doesn't excuse it for either party, that's just how it all starts. Ladies, if you're looking for a signal as to whether or not your man would cheat, you have to ask yourself, 'Is he happy?' Is he happy with how often you're having sex? If the answer is no, know that somewhere inside there's part of him that's giving himself permission to look elsewhere. … If you want to make sure that your man stays true, you have to make sure that your intimate relationship is really good for both of you."

Rick disagrees, "That makes it sound like it's all up to the woman to make sure the relationship is working."

"I'm not telling you all men are pure at heart and that all you have to do is treat them right and they'll be fine," Bruce concedes. "There are a lot of men that are real creeps out there. … [A man] might get on his knee and ask you to marry him, but that doesn't mean he's truly committed."

*ABC News poll

Why do men go to strip clubs?
Why do men watch porn?
What's up with catcalls and wolf-whistles?
Why are men so obsessed with golf?
What do men think about after sex?
Why do men get lazy after they say "I do"?
Katrina asks what men think about after sex.

7.
What do men think about after sex?

Katrina reveals what she believes occupies the minds of the fairer sex after lovemaking. "We're thinking about long-term relationships," she says. "He's really cute, are we going to have cute kids? Can I bring him home to the family…?"

Jay: I'm thinking, "Sausage or pepperoni?"

Brian: I'm doing the whole instant replay thing—"Yeah, that was a good move there…."

Bruce: I guarantee you we're not sitting there thinking, "Where is this going? What kind of relationship is this going to be?"

Why do men go to strip clubs?
Why do men watch porn?
What's up with catcalls and wolf-whistles?
Why are men so obsessed with golf?
Why do some men cheat?
Why do men get lazy after they say "I do"?
Jay Leno, Rick Reilly and Bruce Cameron

8.
Why do men get lazy after they say, "I do?"

Jay: If you [as a man] leave your shirt somewhere and you come back 10 minutes later, it will probably be picked up. I think [women] are sort of…enabling? Is that the word that they use?

Bruce: Here's the mistake that women always make—you think that we men are really just pretending not to think just like you. That's not true—we don't think like you do. He doesn't notice [a mess]. If he says "I didn't see it," he really didn't see it.

Rick: When guys go hunting and they get a deer the first day, the rest of the week they sit in the cabin and drink and brag on their deer. It's the same when guys get married. Like, "I got my deer. It's not like I'm not good looking. I could get more deer, [but] I've got my deer." They think, "Hey, I've done what I've got to do. Now I don't have to work that hard."

Why do men go to strip clubs?
Why do men watch porn?
What's up with catcalls and wolf-whistles?
Why are men so obsessed with golf?
Why do some men cheat?
What do men think about after sex?
FROM: Why Do Men Go to Strip Clubs? And Other Burning Questions
Published on November 01, 2005

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