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Carole began writing her memoir about four years after that summer, saying it was a book she needed to write: "In the chaos of the aftermath of that summer, I kind of assumed this responsibility to keep them all alive. No one asked me to, but I felt like I was the link to the three of them. And that was a huge responsibility." She explains, "We keep the dead alive in our minds to keep them close and there came a point where I couldn't live with that anymore and I knew I had to find a space for all of that that was outside of my head."

Carole also says she had started to move on with her life, but was beginning to forget details of the past: "I was forgetting things and it was making me anxious, and I thought, I can't lose them a second time."

For Carole, it was "an unbelievable relief" to begin to tell her story. "I felt that it really allowed me to move on in my life in a way that I couldn't possibly have done without getting all of that stuff out of my head."


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FROM: Exclusive: The Night John Kennedy Jr. Died
Published on September 26, 2005

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