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Nathalie used to feel like all eyes were on her. "I felt radiant," she says. "I loved my hair. I loved my face, my body. I was very confident in photographs, even in bathing suits. I was really active, exercised a lot. I took my daughter on these amazing trips. I was living this dream life."

Then she recently went from 138 pounds to about 205 pounds. One of the reasons for this weight gain, Nathalie says, is that she has tended to attract the wrong type of men in relationships, stemming from the trauma of childhood sexual abuse.

Her extra weight has become an emotional barrier. "I have such fear of being hurt again that I have gained this weight," she says. "It is my protective wall. I now can go out and be social and not have the fear of attracting dates or men. It has been my protector."
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FROM: Have You Let Yourself Go?
Published on October 31, 2005

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