When J.L. told his "D.L. brothers" that he was going to speak out about their lifestyle, he says they urged him not to. "There's a lot of black folks who still don't want me to talk about this—they don't want to hear it," he says. "They look at it as if I'm airing our dirty laundry. That I'm doing harm to African-American men."
"I think you're doing a great service to African-American women," Oprah says.
What made J.L. come clean? "I thought about my daughter and nieces," he says. "I knew that someone had to step forward and put a face to the behavior."
J.L.'s 29-year-old daughter, Ebony, found out about her father's behavior three years ago, and she says it's taken awhile to sink in. "It's kind of clicking now," Ebony says. "It's like, 'Okay, this is real.' Before [the down low] wasn't so real because I really didn't see much, and I wasn't hearing about it [except] what was coming from my father."
J.L. wants to make sure the man Ebony chooses to be with is the opposite of him. "One thing I said to her, and I've said it to other young girls, is, 'I don't want my daughter to marry a man like her father,'" he says. "Because if she married a man like me, she'd be putting herself at risk."