Even after he got married and had children, J.L. says his desire for men never went away. Over time, he began to act on these desires and engage in unprotected sex with male partners.
J.L.'s secret life was revealed when he says his wife followed him to the home of one of his sexual partners. "I can remember lying across the bed, so caught up and really thinking to myself, 'This is the life,'" J.L. says. "I had the best of both worlds."
J.L. believes his wife followed him that day, but he says he never saw her. "I got so caught up in what I was doing, but I know when I got home, something was not right." Soon after, J.L. and his wife divorced. Now, he says he's speaking out to warn other women about men like him.
His marriage may have ended, but J.L. doesn't believe it was all an act. "The marriage wasn't a lie because I loved my wife. I loved her," he says. "She was my best friend. We were running partners. What was a lie was the desire to have sex with other men. That was something that I did not reveal to her because I was scared."