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Roland Warren also warns that if you think you can put your marriage on the back burner until the kids are gone, think again! Your grown children will more than likely come back home. "You've invested all of your time, all of your emotion, all of your focus, all of your intimacy, into your children," Roland says. "The reason these kids are coming back is because you've built the construct that your relationship with your husband is not the primary relationship."

According to Roland, Ayelet's approach is a good model for marriages. "It provides security for the kids that they need, it provides strength in the marriage that you need and ultimately it provides you the balance that you need," Roland says. "Part of the reason [Ayelet's] husband is so sexy to her is because he's actually, in a weird kind of way, tied into her maternal instinct because he's such a good father for their children. Generally, if you over-mother, you don't allow him to father. He fathers differently [than you mother.] If you allow him to father more it creates balance for you, the sexier he gets."
FROM: A Mother's Controversial Confession
Published on April 20, 2005