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It's now time for Sylvia to start living her truth, and Suze pushes Sylvia to be honest with herself. "You found your husband dead. He committed suicide. I get that was probably incredibly traumatic to see those things," Suze says. "On any level was it a relief?"

Sylvia admits that it was—and says that finally admitting that feels good. "I always would try to cover up with makeup because I try to hide what's inside, and I've always been like that since I've been with him," Sylvia says.

For 18 years, Sylvia says she only took off her makeup right before bed and put it on first thing in the morning because her husband always wanted her to look good. When Suze asks her what she would change most about herself, it isn't her appearance. "Confidence," Sylvia says.

Suze decides it's time to see the real Sylvia—and take off the makeup. "We're gonna get down to the bare-naked truth about money," Suze says. "You have to sometimes just take it off. Because, you see, unless you love who you are without any facade, how are we gonna do anything?"

Together, Suze and Sylvia remove their makeup. After nearly two decades of looking good—and feeling nothing but pain—Sylvia faces her true self. "From this day forward, we don't care what you look like. We care what you feel like first," Suze says. "I think you're prettier without makeup. … You look like who God made you to be."

Sylvia has a hard time looking at herself in the mirror. "I see empty inside," she says. "That's why I don't like to look at myself."

"But you want to know something? You're not empty inside," Suze says. "You have a heart, you have a soul, and you have courage to go on. You're not empty inside. You are incredible."
FROM: Suicide, Lies, Debt: A Suburban Nightmare
Published on March 14, 2008


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