Step 4: Give Mom Her Due
We all know that we tend to look to our mothers to explain why we are who we are, the good, the bad and the ugly. But a lot of us are mothers now and know how easy it is to blame and be the recipients of blame rather than take responsibility and change. Sure, our mothers had an important influence on the development of our self-image, just as we do on the perception our children have of themselves. So did our dads, our siblings and our teachers. Vogue and Revlon did as well! This step encourages us to learn how that all developed by examining our own unique personal histories. We know that our mothers' roles and all those other influences are reflected in self-images that grew, stabilized and became firmly rooted in our identities. That's why it is so hard to let go. But it's time to see these old reflections for what they are so we can take charge of them and let them shift. Aging requires flexibility at any stage of life or we get stuck. The most reliable source of positive regard is reflected in the accommodating and accepting "I" of the beholder. And that is you!