After all clumsy, embarrassing moments, you must curtsy.
Call up your best friend once a month—and play her favorite song, anonymously without one word—making sure that you hear her rustle, sit-dancing in her office chair.
Close your eyes when you drink orange juice. It makes it taste better.
Make up a lovable name for your least favorite body part. Like Irene. Nobody hates a thigh named Irene.
While you're driving behind a school bus with kids at the windows waving to everyone in cars, you must wave back—and honk three times.
When in doubt, add extra garlic, extra butter or extra bubble bath.
Always scan your dimes for the date. Dimes, unlike pennies and quarters, do not tarnish. One that's three times your age gives you a whole new perspective on how to get older—without losing your shine.
To-do lists and angry letters to the phone or electric company must be written in silver glitter ink.
You may not leave the house without smelling the top of the head of your child, partner or pet. Inhale their scent (even if it's unwashed) for at least two breaths.
Once a year, take yourself out for a mandatory lunch at a restaurant with fancy waiters. Sit at a table for four. Order three courses, including wine and a dish that must be set on fire.
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