In what ways do you wish the past had been different?
Forgiveness doesn't mean accepting that what happened to you was okay—but instead, accepting that it happened. If you think about it that way, what would you be able to begin to forgive?
Is it possible you are withholding your forgiveness because otherwise you would have to move on to an uncertain future? Or that you hope to make the other person feel guilty or in your debt?
Choosing to forgive means choosing to not let the past control your future. Is there a person you can forgive—and by so doing, liberate yourself from being at the mercy of someone else's old hurt or unkind behavior?
Research has shown that forgiving is good for you—it can lower blood pressure and reduce depression. There are really only two steps in the process: grieving and letting go. Can you start by describing the anger, hurt and pain you feel?
Now, begin to let go: The best way to make this shift is to be mindful of your life today and focus on kindnesses you have been shown. List three...
Bishop T.D. Jakes says that to forgive others we must be willing to look at our own ability to inflict hurt. How often have you hurt people around you? Do you see a pattern in your behavior?
From whom do you need to ask forgiveness?
Printed from Oprah.com on Thursday, December 12, 2013