Write a letter to yourself about the kind of man you want to be. Then, commit to being that man.
Roland Warren from the National Fatherhood Initiative says a son needs his father to answer yes to four questions: Are you proud of me? Do I matter to you? Is what I do important to you? Do you love me? If your father can't, who in your life can?
Write down the conversation you're having with yourself about your father—why he left, why he hasn't come back. Iyanla says you need to put those thoughts aside. The reasons he left have nothing to do with you.
Iyanla says that you don't need to forgive your father for leaving. You need to forgive yourself for believing there's something lacking in you because he wasn't there. Will you commit to forgive yourself?
The hole in your soul is the size of your father. It must be acknowledged. Write down how your soul feels right now.
Printed from Oprah.com on Friday, December 13, 2013