Lesson 12: Holding on to the Past

These workbook questions were curated by Martha Beck. The goal is to continue the conversation and go deeper into the lesson. Your answers are private, no one else can see them.

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What pain are you carrying from long ago that is holding you back today?

Where are you insisting that something shouldn't have happened, when it did? Try something radical: list three reasons why it's good that this thing occurred.

Are you upset about a situation that only exists in your thoughts? If so, how could changing your thoughts change the situation?

How does "letting go" look to you? What are the steps for accomplishing it?

List the benefits you get from focusing on anger and blame toward someone else. For example, "I don’t have to face my loneliness," or "I get to feel righteous."

Write a letter to someone you're angry at. Then cross out the person's name, substitute your own, and re-read the letter. Where might you make the changes you want from your enemy?

Where are you trying to get ideal behavior from someone who's just not ideal? Can you forgive yourself for wanting them to be something they're not?

Would you be glad if your painful past helped you heal someone else who's hurting the way you were hurt? How can you use your painful past to do good?

If a random spark erased just the part of your memory that stores your worst pain from the past, who would you be, and what would you do?

Published on October 25, 2011

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