Coping with Memory Clutter

When Nate and Peter arrive, the family shows them Jake's room, which, until recently, remained as it had been before he died. "We just left it as a shrine," Lincoln says.

Peter says memory clutter is a more common problem than most people realize. "People are terrified that if they let go of the objects, they will lose the memory," Peter says. Jenny and Steve say they have that exact fear. "If we get rid of this piece of paper that he touched, well, there goes Jake along with it," Steve says.

In fact, Peter says clearing the emotional clutter will help preserve Jake's memory. "In pulling stuff out that reminds you most of Jake, that represents him, what happens is that you honor the memory even more," Peter says. "And instead of the fear of losing him, you actually move to a place where the things that are most important about him are honored."