What makes men cheat? Marriage counselor M. Gary Neuman interviewed over 100 faithful and unfaithful husbands to find the answer, which he shares in his book The Truth About Cheating: Why Men Stray and What You Can Do to Prevent It. Gayle talks with Gary about some of the reasons men cheat and what couples can do to strengthen their relationships.
Gary says while there are no excuses for cheating, the main reason men gave for their behavior is that they felt like they weren't being appreciated by their spouses. "The number one reason was not sex—it was emotional disconnection," he says. "And under that category, the main thing that they felt they were getting outside the home that they were sorely missing at home was appreciation."
Gary says men are far more insecure than they appear to be and that their wives play a significant role in nurturing their emotional side. Staying emotionally connected is one of the best ways couples can prevent cheating from happening in the first place, he says. He recommends couples spend at least four 45-minute uninterrupted periods a week with their spouse.
When things get tough because of stress, work and parenting, Gary says couples need to talk. Express your desire to work together as a team when it comes to cleaning, taking care of the kids and carving out time for dates and sex. "That's a conversation that's so skipped over," Gary says. "We get so trodden down by life instead of taking control of our life."
Printed from Oprah.com on Wednesday, June 19, 2013