Is there a horse in the middle of your Thanksgiving table? The "horse" is the issue or the painful memory that everyone pretends does not exist. Dr. Robin says it's important to acknowledge the horse and forever banish it from your holiday celebrations.
What's sitting on your Thanksgiving table? Maybe it's a family issue—addiction problems, cheating spouses, strained relationships—that no one ever talks about because they don't want to "upset" anyone, Dr. Robin says.
Dr. Robin says the horse becomes increasingly powerful every year with the silence, the pretense and the denial. "We think that we're not mentioning the horse because we don't want to bring shame to the host and hostess of this Thanksgiving dinner. We don't want to make other people uncomfortable. But do you know what makes people uncomfortable in the grandest way? … It's pretending that the horse is not there."
Dr. Robin says ignoring the horse denies and disallows the opportunity for authentic sharing and authentic connection. This Thanksgiving, Dr. Robin suggests talking about the horse on the table.
"The horse is meant to be acknowledged, to be addressed, to be owned, so that you can let it find its proper place," she says. "Not in the center of the table—not even on the table—but somewhere in the room, in a corner. Not pretending that it's not there, but not overpowering the entire Thanksgiving dinner, and more importantly your entire life."
"Begin to speak to the horse," Dr. Robin says. "Allow the light of the truth to bless this Thanksgiving like none before."
Printed from Oprah.com on Monday, December 9, 2013