When you are keeping a secret you really don't want to tell someone, Dr. Robin says that's the sign that you must tell. Anytime something is going on in our lives and we don't want to tell the people we can trust, it means something is drastically wrong and we absolutely must share it, she says.
Maybe you've never told your friends you are being abused in your marriage because you felt like it would go away or get better with time if you kept it a secret. But Dr. Robin says time by itself does not do anything except pass time. "It's what you do as the time is passing that decides whether or not you get healed or get harmed," she says.
The next time you—or someone else—says, "Don't tell," realize it's a dangerous message you want to rid yourself of. Be careful who you tell, and share it with people who know how to hold it sacredly, but definitely don't keep the information a secret, Dr. Robin says.