Just because you're married doesn't mean you have to share everything with your spouse, Rabbi Shmuley says. "Creating a bit of separation and privacy in the home can actually bring couples together," he says. Rabbi Shmuley talks about maintaining privacy when married and offers advice on how to rekindle the intimacy in your relationship. Keeping an aura of mystery and privacy is one of the most important ingredients in creating a long-term, passionate relationship, Rabbi Shmuley says. "When husband and wife are one and the same and act like best friends or roommates, it can only bring about one thing: boredom," he says.
If your spouse is becoming more of your roommate than your lover, Rabbi Shmuley offers some tips to recreate the erotic spark:
At the same time, try not to extend the privacy zones to the point where you lead separate lives. "If you're never together, that's a problem to work on," Rabbi Shmuley says.
"Sexual attraction between husband and wife is predicated on erotic differentiation. When men and women morph into each other in marriage, boredom sets in. Eroticism requires sexual polarity, and in this sense, privacy zones in marriage are a good idea. Husbands and wives should certainly not tend to hygienic issues in each other's presence, and there is nothing wrong with each having friends and hobbies which they independently pursue. However, care should be taken to ensure that most of what the two of you do is done together in marriage so that you foster real intimacy."
Published on June 03, 2008