While we may try our best to work through our problems and put them behind us, Dr. Robin says old fears, conflicts or emotional issues can sometimes show up again without warning. Perhaps you thought you had conquered your fear of flying—until you got on a plane and had a full-blown panic attack. Or maybe you thought your fear of commitment was behind you, but now you find yourself afraid to open up and truly connect in your current relationship.
Dr. Robin says if you're faced with an unresolved issue, know your work isn't done yet—the emotional, psychological, spiritual work necessary to fully resolve and dissolve the problem in your life for good. Acknowledge that the problem is still present, then figure out what work still needs to be done so you can truly overcome your issues. "You don't want the illusion of freedom," she says. "You want the real thing."
Printed from Oprah.com on Monday, December 9, 2013