Both personally and professionally, criminal investigator Danine Manette is well aware of the signs of a cheating lover. Danine says she first started developing investigative skills in college when she followed up on suspicious signs and found out her boyfriend was cheating on her. Later, in her marriage, Danine used the same intuition and skills to discover her husband's infidelity. These experiences led her to offer practical advice to others through her book Ultimate Betrayal: Recognizing, Uncovering, and Dealing with Infidelity. Jean talks with Danine about how keeping an eye on your partner's finances can help you sniff out signs of infidelity.
Danine says your family or joint finances are a good place to start scrutinizing even before you suspect your partner is stepping out on you. "The only way you can be aware of what is going on is to do financial accounting with your spouse every few months, just to sit down and go over things," she says. Danine also suggests keeping an eye out for the following financial changes that could be signs of infidelity:
Large cash withdrawals
Excessive calls to an unknown number appearing on a cell phone bill
New accounts being opened without you being consulted
While watching your finances may be one way to pick up on cheating, Danine says financial evidence alone is not enough to confront your partner about an affair. "You always want to make sure you've got plenty of bank records, you've got plenty of phone records, you've got plenty of visual and audio observations before you go in and say, 'Hey this is what is going on, so what are we going to do about it?'" she says.
Printed from Oprah.com on Saturday, December 7, 2013