Many marriages are in a state of crisis, and divorce seems to be the only way out for countless unhappy couples, Rabbi Shmuley says. But it doesn't have to be that way—almost any marital problem that may be encountered can and should be fixed. Rabbi Shmuley talks about some of the most trying problems facing married couples today and shares advice on how to fix them.
Infidelity: A cheating spouse doesn't necessarily mean divorce is imminent, so long as the guilty party apologized, ceases all contact with the other party and makes a sincere commitment to change, counseling and making the marriage better, Rabbi Shmuley says. Divorce is for repeat offenders who make no effort to change, he says.
Anger problem: There are ways to treat and teach people to get a handle on their explosive tempers and harmful angry behavior, Rabbi Shmuley says, and a spouse with an anger problem should seek anger management. "It all comes down to personal choice and will," he says.
Constant fighting: Again, Rabbi Shmuley says couple can learn how to stop fighting and begin communicating in a healthy, respectful manner with the help of a good counselor.
Boredom: If a couple is drifting apart, they should work together to reinvigorate their marriage and make it stronger, Rabbi Shmuley says.
Money problems: All the material possessions in the world mean nothing if you have no one to share them with, Rabbi Shmuley says. Learn to "live with less" and to "live within your means," he says.
Kids: Children should bring couples together rather than pull them apart, Rabbi Shmuley says. "You can find balance in all these things," he says.
"Of the three categories into which all human experiences fall—the good, the bad and the necessary—divorce is never good, is usually bad but is sometimes necessary. So before you choose that course, make sure there is no other solution."
Printed from Oprah.com on Friday, December 6, 2013