Are you a better talker or a better listener? Dr. Robin says most people are better talkers. "You are either talking or waiting to talk if you are like most people," she says. "This means you're not listening most of the time."
An ancient Turkish proverb states, "If speaking is silver, then listening is gold." Dr. Robin says the saying explains the value of listening quite clearly. "Make sure you are making a big investment in both markets but particularly in the gold market of listening," she says.
The next time you are having a disagreement with your spouse, child or co-worker, stop formulating a rebuttal while the other person is talking. Instead, Dr. Robin says you should really listen to the other person's grievance. "If you were really just soaking their words … you wouldn't be so able—so quickly able—to respond in a knee-jerk reaction," she says.
Printed from Oprah.com on Thursday, December 12, 2013