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Lisa Kogan on Matchmaking

Oprah.com   |   July 19, 2007
Gayle King
In the August 2007 issue of O, The Oprah Magazine , columnist Lisa Kogan reveals that she has a self-described compulsion for fixing up friends . "I just want everyone to be in love," she says. Gayle talks to Lisa about her knack for matchmaking and some simple rules for setting up friends.

When setting up a friend on a blind date, Lisa says it's important to be honest so that you avoid any uncomfortable situations. Lisa says she learned this lesson firsthand after being set up on a date with a man who had an unexpected characteristic. "I was told he was lean, I was told his hair was thinning just a little," she says. "I was not told he was missing a leg."

At the same time, Lisa says you should never reveal too much information about the people you're pairing up. Keep it simple and keep expectations low, she says, so people can discover each other on their own. "To me, you don't ever announce, 'I have found you the man of your dreams,' because there is just way too much pressure there," Lisa says.

According to Lisa, another rule of thumb when you're playing Cupid is to never contact either party for post-date details. At best, she says they'll contact you if the date went well—at worst, you'll learn things you never wanted to know. "More likely than not, what you're going to hear is that your sister-in-law's ex-roommate is an absolute nymphomaniac," Lisa says.

Of course, Lisa says that intangible quality called "chemistry" will ultimately decide whether a couple clicks or not, even if they seemed perfectly suited on paper. Though you may be disappointed, Lisa says a matchmaker should just let it go. "It's what I did when I wanted my 4-year-old-to taste gefilte fish," she says. "You say, 'I'm proud of you for trying it, darling. That didn't work out—there are other fish in the sea.' Then you stay very calm and say, 'Please don't ever, ever spit down the front of mommy's blouse again."
Printed from Oprah.com on Friday, May 24, 2013
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