Have you learned to understand the stories of those around you? Are you holding something against someone, but in reality you may not understand the whole story behind why? All people have a story, Dr. Robin says, and until you know the entire story, you won't be able to forgive.
If you're holding a grudge against someone, make it a point to find out the whole story behind what happened, Dr. Robin says. The more you know about that person and their past, the easier it may be to forgive—but not necessarily accept —their behavior.
If you are angry and bitter at someone for something that happened in the past, Dr. Robin says it doesn't have to rule your future.
"The opportunity now for you is to decide that those moments that were defining in your life at that time do not have to shape and define the rest of your journey, the rest of your life, the rest of your relationship," Dr. Robin says. Make the decision to broaden your understanding, she says. "Like Catherine the Great says, 'The more we know, the more we can forgive.'"
Printed from Oprah.com on Monday, December 9, 2013