Do you try to anticipate what your loved one needs? Do you take it upon yourself to mow the neighbor's lawn, clean your teenager's room or replace your mother's TV without asking first? While you may have the best intentions, Dr. Robin says you shouldn't be surprised to find that your gestures may not be appreciated. "Unless someone asks you, then mind your business and do that which is on your plate and manage your own life," she says.
Dr. Robin says that if you jump the gun and try to help someone only to find out that your attempt was not wanted, you should not get upset. "Realize that you shouldn't be angry with them and learn the lesson," she says. "It is not a clean way to give, it is not a healthy way to be in a relationship with anyone."
Published on June 29, 2007