Is casual flirting ever okay? If you are in a committed relationship with someone, Rabbi Shmuley says it absolutely isn't. Even if you believe it is harmless, flirting with someone besides your significant other is wrong, he says.
Every time you flirt with someone you are not in a relationship with, Rabbi Shmuley says you are doing two things: diluting the intensity and the focus of the relationship and demonstrating to your partner that he or she is not enough to entertain you erotically. "When you are in a relationship with someone, they become your one and only," Rabbi Shmuley says. "The relationship is based on total primacy and total exclusivity, which would preclude finding erotic fun with anyone but the person you are in a relationship with."
Rabbi Shmuley says with every relationship comes some jealousy, but it can be a healthy emotion. Jealousy is like fire, and if you have no fire at all, it's because there is no love in the relationship. If you have too much fire, it will consume the relationship, he says. When you flirt, you hurt each other. "Make your partner feel like they are the one and the only," he says. "Stop playing with people you are not in a relationship with."
"Love is joyously expressed by two adults at play. Flirtation is the verbal expression of that playfulness. Lovemaking is the physical expression; your playdate should be with each other, not with others."